Although the holidays are a very happy time of year, the celebrations also have a way of bringing out memories and deep feelings that perhaps haven't surfaced yet. If your family has experienced the loss of a loved one, here are some important things you can be thinking about to help your children through the grieving process:
Experts say the main thing we need to understand when helping our children grieve is that it's critically important to let them know that it's OK for them to be asking questions, and working through tough issues. It's important to let them know that it's normal to feel confused, afraid, sad, overwhelmed, angry, and abandoned when a loved one dies....and it's normal for it to take a long time---really a lifetime---to work through the grieving process.
The best way to do that, is to make sure to tell them that! Say the words "it's OK for you to be feeling this way." Or, "you know, this is perfectly normal for you to be thinking these things."
If a child asks something you're struggling with yourself, it's OK for you to be honest about that. You can say, "You know, I've often wondered about that myself. Let's talk about it. What do you think?"
According to counselors at the Highmark Caring Place, some of the most common questions grieving children ask include:
- Who else will die?
- Who will take care of me?
- Why?
- Was it my fault?
- Is it my responsibility to take care of the family now?
As we think about the depth and the emotion in these questions, we need to realize that often to a child, they're looking for reassurances as much as answers. They want and need to know that they are safe. They will be taken care of. That life will go on---in a different---but still happy way.
Information for this article was found in a Highmark Caring Place resource: Download it now |
